Tonight was a little bit of the last night plus a lot of amazing.
Today was to be an “alone” day. My father called my directly to my Italian cell which I’m sure is going to cost a fortune in the long run, but oh well. I put him to the task of getting me internet in my apartment, or at least finding me a McDonald’s near to me. He semi-failed/semi-passed at both tasks.
He e-mailed Sophia (the woman from whom I am renting my flat) asking about the Wifi. We then spent some time on the phone trying to get me to a McDonalds. I left the apartment around 14:30 (thus putting Notre Dame off until tomorrow) to find the McDonalds he claimed to be on Rue Suffren. As things seemed to diverge, I called him and asked if he had sent me to “McDonald’s Paris Headquarters” because I knew he had found it by searching “McDonalds Paris” in Google Maps (something I’ve done many times before). He goes, “Oh no I didn’t do tha- oh wait… yea, I’m sending you to Jennifer McDonald’s… apartment.” He then proceeded to use his high school French to navigate the McDonalds France website and get me to one. I spent a while trying to get linked up but finally did and spend about 1.5 hours collecting information/bullshitting.
He did finally hear back from Sophia who gave us what seems to be a network key… and a password… for a network called “Neuf” or as my dad put it “might have a 9 in the name.” There is a “Wifi Neuf” but clearly in some foreign land that is very far away from my flat, so much so that I could not get connected. After McDonalds I had gone food shopping and picked up some basics for the remainder of the week. I made myself a couple hotdogs on croissants and some pretzels in spicy ass Dijon mustard (like legit, clears your sinuses).
The depression I was feeling last night began to set in again as the pictures I carry with me of my various nieces, nephews and my parents holding them peaked out at me from the torn envelope they were in inside my bag. Carrie had told me she saw a gay bar the night before last where “the boys walk around in their underwear.” I explained to her that she may have very well peaked into a sex club, but hey, desperate times call for… well… me to go there. It was near the restaurant we ate at last night which had a McDonalds so I figured I would bring along my laptop and if the bar sucked, I could use the internet. As my luck would have it, the McDonalds at Voltaire does NOT have free Wifi. I then followed the (vague) directions I was given to the gay bar but to no avail.
Rather deflated I passed a “Velib’” bicycle rental stand much like the one on the corner near me and as I had seen throughout Paris both today and yesterday. Inspired by my failure, lack of evening plans and the coffee I had just chugged from McDonalds, I spent about 25 minutes trying to figure out how to rent one (it is basically a row of bicycles locked into stands with a machine near them where one pays, selects a bike, and goes [WAKE UP AND SMELL THE RENT-A-BIKE NEW YORK!]). I spend the next 2.5 hours riding the streets of Paris trying to get home. Although lost and feeling borderline frantic (due to a major bladder issue that needed to be tended to) I was amazed at what I was able to see. It also gave an amazing sense of accomplishment when I finally did turn a corner and magically found myself at the “Velib’ depot on the street to my flat.
I decided to drop a few more €uro to call my mother as I had already spoken to my dad, Anthony and Tricia today. I still miss them all dearly and wish I could be seeing Paris with them, but now that I have this new way to view the city I’m hoping the weather tomorrow will be clear enough for another ride.
Bonsoir!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Bi-polar blog
Blah.
I’m having trouble finding any music that won’t make me emotional right now. I guess a rather large side-note I overlooked was the fact that I’m in Paris right now.
Plans for Spring Break happened quite last minute as most people just parted ways in small groups to do things. I spent Easter in Rome sans the majority of my friends (thank God for Jenna and Signora Romano + the Exchange to keep me busy).
I decided it would be great to spend break in Paris. I knew I wanted to go and that I didn’t want to do 2 or 3 days encumbered by travel, so this seemed like the best option. At the time of booking I thought Carrie and Kate would be here for the 23-26th but came to find out that they would be leaving early morning the 26th for London. Jenna arrives Friday the 28th. I have all of tomorrow (Wednesday the 26th) and Thursday to fill on my own.
I didn’t think this would bother me as much as it seems to be. Today was rough, stressing about making the train to Fiumicino followed by barely making my flight then the stress of trying to navigate the center of Paris without a map or anyone to lean on was exhausting. I guess as I’m typing that I should “pat myself on the back” for even being able to accomplish all of that in one day. Go me.
Anyway, I really miss home. I had been watching “Sex and the City” almost on stream for the entire week leading up to my departure. It not only drew many parallels to my life, but also made me long to be back in New York so bad. I told Carrie tonight that I wish I could do all of the weekends of the next 6 weeks so I can just get back home.
May is going to be big… and busy. I’ve decided to depart Rome and meet my mother in London (as she’d be departing the day I was to return) and do May 11th – May 16th with her. In order to see my fB wifey in her show I would then fly into Nashville, TN and stay with Noel followed by a road-trip out to Dallas and see Marissa in her tour, road-trip home then fly back to NYC on May 23rd. That being Memorial Day Weekend means I won’t be home sweet New York until May 27th, at the earliest. Am I shooting myself in the foot? I’ve been telling myself that by that time I should be so used to travelling that it won’t matter, but the depth of loneliness I felt tonight as I walked from the metro to my tiny flat in the 17th district seems to make me feel otherwise. Christ how pretentious that one could be lonely when staying 5 blocks from the Eiffel Tower.
What didn’t help was this: I recorded “O” when I saw it two years ago with my parents in Las Vegas. During one of the scenes two of the clowns “dance” and leave the audience in stitches. Throughout my entire recording of this song (which came on while on shuffle) I could hear my mom and dad’s snickering and laughing. I think for the first time, I really truly miss them. As morbid as this sounds, my mind automatically goes to the day when this recording will be the only way I can hear their voices. Wow… I really can’t go down this road right now.
I need to get back to the city and people that I love. Not planning a trip back to the states mid-semester was a mistake. If nothing else, I’ll be more than happy to see them constantly throughout the summer.
Back to Paris. It is absolutely breath-taking. Although in the midst of a heated re-telling to Carrie I was caught completely off-guard by the Eiffel Tower tonight. When the flashing lights began to go off as we stood underneath it I completely lost it as I ran across the street to get photos/video. On our walk there neither of us could handle how much Paris looked like New York. If you take a few curly-cues off of the lampposts and architecture and make the buildings a bit more industrial, we could have been in the Meat-packing District. I wish I had the psychological capacity to tell you if that was a good or bad thing.
Tomorrow I am doing Ile de la Cite. I’ll be touring Notre Dame, walking Paris’ oldest bridge “Pont Neuf” and hopefully eating at my mother’s favorite, “Hunchback of Notre Dame Café.” If sunny, I’ll go to Sainte Chappelle. I’m thinking hitting up the tourist center then getting lost in either Monmartre, Bastille or Oberkampf which will polish off the day. Thursday is to be filled with whatever is on my “to-do” list and hopefully going to “Pulp” at Kendall’s suggestion (and hopefully meeting some of her friends if I can get the McDonalds internet hookup tomorrow).
Bonsoir!
I’m having trouble finding any music that won’t make me emotional right now. I guess a rather large side-note I overlooked was the fact that I’m in Paris right now.
Plans for Spring Break happened quite last minute as most people just parted ways in small groups to do things. I spent Easter in Rome sans the majority of my friends (thank God for Jenna and Signora Romano + the Exchange to keep me busy).
I decided it would be great to spend break in Paris. I knew I wanted to go and that I didn’t want to do 2 or 3 days encumbered by travel, so this seemed like the best option. At the time of booking I thought Carrie and Kate would be here for the 23-26th but came to find out that they would be leaving early morning the 26th for London. Jenna arrives Friday the 28th. I have all of tomorrow (Wednesday the 26th) and Thursday to fill on my own.
I didn’t think this would bother me as much as it seems to be. Today was rough, stressing about making the train to Fiumicino followed by barely making my flight then the stress of trying to navigate the center of Paris without a map or anyone to lean on was exhausting. I guess as I’m typing that I should “pat myself on the back” for even being able to accomplish all of that in one day. Go me.
Anyway, I really miss home. I had been watching “Sex and the City” almost on stream for the entire week leading up to my departure. It not only drew many parallels to my life, but also made me long to be back in New York so bad. I told Carrie tonight that I wish I could do all of the weekends of the next 6 weeks so I can just get back home.
May is going to be big… and busy. I’ve decided to depart Rome and meet my mother in London (as she’d be departing the day I was to return) and do May 11th – May 16th with her. In order to see my fB wifey in her show I would then fly into Nashville, TN and stay with Noel followed by a road-trip out to Dallas and see Marissa in her tour, road-trip home then fly back to NYC on May 23rd. That being Memorial Day Weekend means I won’t be home sweet New York until May 27th, at the earliest. Am I shooting myself in the foot? I’ve been telling myself that by that time I should be so used to travelling that it won’t matter, but the depth of loneliness I felt tonight as I walked from the metro to my tiny flat in the 17th district seems to make me feel otherwise. Christ how pretentious that one could be lonely when staying 5 blocks from the Eiffel Tower.
What didn’t help was this: I recorded “O” when I saw it two years ago with my parents in Las Vegas. During one of the scenes two of the clowns “dance” and leave the audience in stitches. Throughout my entire recording of this song (which came on while on shuffle) I could hear my mom and dad’s snickering and laughing. I think for the first time, I really truly miss them. As morbid as this sounds, my mind automatically goes to the day when this recording will be the only way I can hear their voices. Wow… I really can’t go down this road right now.
I need to get back to the city and people that I love. Not planning a trip back to the states mid-semester was a mistake. If nothing else, I’ll be more than happy to see them constantly throughout the summer.
Back to Paris. It is absolutely breath-taking. Although in the midst of a heated re-telling to Carrie I was caught completely off-guard by the Eiffel Tower tonight. When the flashing lights began to go off as we stood underneath it I completely lost it as I ran across the street to get photos/video. On our walk there neither of us could handle how much Paris looked like New York. If you take a few curly-cues off of the lampposts and architecture and make the buildings a bit more industrial, we could have been in the Meat-packing District. I wish I had the psychological capacity to tell you if that was a good or bad thing.
Tomorrow I am doing Ile de la Cite. I’ll be touring Notre Dame, walking Paris’ oldest bridge “Pont Neuf” and hopefully eating at my mother’s favorite, “Hunchback of Notre Dame Café.” If sunny, I’ll go to Sainte Chappelle. I’m thinking hitting up the tourist center then getting lost in either Monmartre, Bastille or Oberkampf which will polish off the day. Thursday is to be filled with whatever is on my “to-do” list and hopefully going to “Pulp” at Kendall’s suggestion (and hopefully meeting some of her friends if I can get the McDonalds internet hookup tomorrow).
Bonsoir!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Hair straighteners, journal entries and youtube. Oh my!
Do underwear and clothes truly need a fan page? Isn't it safe to say that most of us are fans of one or both?Anyway.
Tonight was cute. I sort of wanted to go out, so thats a good sign. I was very content with spending the night with Jacquie though. We went for Chinese food around 10:30 which is always a fun experience. We came back and straightened my hair for the first time (see below for results).
We read to each other from our journal/blogs respectively. It was pretty queer LOL. We watched some funny youtube stuff then I headed up here. 'Twas fun. Tomorrow I need to tan, punto and do homework in the library.We'll see how that works out.
Friday, March 7, 2008
So, What's My Deal?
Is there a psycho-analyst in the house?
I'm just sitting here trying to figure out what my mental block is.
Here's the sitch:
I'm in Rome, for the semester. It's now gone from me being in that "vacation" mode of like "Hey! I'm in Rome! Let's go see stuff!" to now I'm living here. Like living here. How many days do I spend sight-seeing in NYC? Exactly...
Anyway. I feel as though I haven't done a ton of sight-seeing in Rome (as I was here and did most of that 4 years ago) but find myself spending too much time either in my apartment or that of my friends. I think I'm just sort of in that slump where the novelty has officially worn off.
I think the best remedy would be to travel a bit and do something exciting, but it feels silly taking a weekend trip somewhere when I'll most likely be doing 3 different cities over Spring Break which is in 12 days. That will probably be the remedy and I'm just wasting time trying to figure myself out right now.
I was talking to Jacquie about it today. I think that its not that I miss home, but that I'm looking forward so much to this summer. This summer I'll be in NYC, which is just too fun in the first place, I'll have my one of my best friends finally home after not being here for 9 months, I'll have my nephew 25 minutes away, I'll have endless amounts of shows to see (Um GYPSY? Xanadu? Anybody?), and on top of all of that my boy will be back in town. That feeling of excitement toward this summer is being felt in tangent with me sort of in the "lull" of my time here is creating an interestign dynamic in my mind.
Its not that I want to be back in NYC right now, its that I want to fast-forward to May 11th but have had an amazing time here and not feel like I've wasted my time/money. The perspective this trip has given me toward my life and lifestyle was worth the price in the first place. As I've said in previous blogs, its made me realize a lot of the toxic things in my life and given me the distance to be able to enjoy myself and realize that they are just that, toxic. My worst fear is leaving here and feeling like I wasted time, so thats why I've lowered my expectations.
I came here with many expectations not only from other people but from my first trip here on the Italian Exchange in 2004. Its a completely different experience this time around and I'm fine with that. I was giving myself so much grief because I wasn't hanging out with Italians and I wasn't fluent 5 weeks into being here, but ya know what? Who care?! I sure as hell don't (anymore). In 2004 I was living with an Italian family and hanging with all of my host's Italian friends. Now I'm basically back to dorm living (without the rules) and making American friends from all over the country, but ya know what? I'm OK with that!
I've found myself sort of apathetic toward going out in the past week or two. I have no interest in going to the gay clubs anymore because I really haven't been around gay people in so long that I don't feel I need to immerse myself in the "community" in order to have friends. I'm doing just fine on my own in the "straight" world. At the same time, I'm sort of tired of going to the straight clubs as they're just not fun or thrilling. If there was something like Happy Valley here that'd be a different story. The straight places are either all R&B/Rap or EuroTechno.
I just want a place I can go that will play Cyndi Lauper then like Camillionaire then Blondie and it just makes sense to the crowd and we all go wild. I guess thats sort of something I'll only be able to find back in NYC.
As much as I love my place at home I'd love a change of scene. I'd love to go back and just live in Long Island City in a luxury building for $1100 a month. Yea, I'd be one stop out of the city in Queens, but I could be looking at Manhattan through the big glass windows from the pool in my building. Ugh wouldn't that be nice.
Well, on to another night of apathy toward going out in Rome lol.
I'm just sitting here trying to figure out what my mental block is.
Here's the sitch:
I'm in Rome, for the semester. It's now gone from me being in that "vacation" mode of like "Hey! I'm in Rome! Let's go see stuff!" to now I'm living here. Like living here. How many days do I spend sight-seeing in NYC? Exactly...
Anyway. I feel as though I haven't done a ton of sight-seeing in Rome (as I was here and did most of that 4 years ago) but find myself spending too much time either in my apartment or that of my friends. I think I'm just sort of in that slump where the novelty has officially worn off.
I think the best remedy would be to travel a bit and do something exciting, but it feels silly taking a weekend trip somewhere when I'll most likely be doing 3 different cities over Spring Break which is in 12 days. That will probably be the remedy and I'm just wasting time trying to figure myself out right now.
I was talking to Jacquie about it today. I think that its not that I miss home, but that I'm looking forward so much to this summer. This summer I'll be in NYC, which is just too fun in the first place, I'll have my one of my best friends finally home after not being here for 9 months, I'll have my nephew 25 minutes away, I'll have endless amounts of shows to see (Um GYPSY? Xanadu? Anybody?), and on top of all of that my boy will be back in town. That feeling of excitement toward this summer is being felt in tangent with me sort of in the "lull" of my time here is creating an interestign dynamic in my mind.
Its not that I want to be back in NYC right now, its that I want to fast-forward to May 11th but have had an amazing time here and not feel like I've wasted my time/money. The perspective this trip has given me toward my life and lifestyle was worth the price in the first place. As I've said in previous blogs, its made me realize a lot of the toxic things in my life and given me the distance to be able to enjoy myself and realize that they are just that, toxic. My worst fear is leaving here and feeling like I wasted time, so thats why I've lowered my expectations.
I came here with many expectations not only from other people but from my first trip here on the Italian Exchange in 2004. Its a completely different experience this time around and I'm fine with that. I was giving myself so much grief because I wasn't hanging out with Italians and I wasn't fluent 5 weeks into being here, but ya know what? Who care?! I sure as hell don't (anymore). In 2004 I was living with an Italian family and hanging with all of my host's Italian friends. Now I'm basically back to dorm living (without the rules) and making American friends from all over the country, but ya know what? I'm OK with that!
I've found myself sort of apathetic toward going out in the past week or two. I have no interest in going to the gay clubs anymore because I really haven't been around gay people in so long that I don't feel I need to immerse myself in the "community" in order to have friends. I'm doing just fine on my own in the "straight" world. At the same time, I'm sort of tired of going to the straight clubs as they're just not fun or thrilling. If there was something like Happy Valley here that'd be a different story. The straight places are either all R&B/Rap or EuroTechno.
I just want a place I can go that will play Cyndi Lauper then like Camillionaire then Blondie and it just makes sense to the crowd and we all go wild. I guess thats sort of something I'll only be able to find back in NYC.
As much as I love my place at home I'd love a change of scene. I'd love to go back and just live in Long Island City in a luxury building for $1100 a month. Yea, I'd be one stop out of the city in Queens, but I could be looking at Manhattan through the big glass windows from the pool in my building. Ugh wouldn't that be nice.
Well, on to another night of apathy toward going out in Rome lol.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
What a difference a day makes
So, as I told basically anyone I came into contact with on Monday in class, I was ready to come home and stick my head in the oven and light it.
I'm blessed and cursed at the same time with an amazing schedule here in Roma. I have class Monday and Wednesday from 12p - 6:30p and then am off for the remainder of the week. Wednesday night I promote at GILDA then have the following 4 days off.
More times than not, Mon/Wed feel like a marathon, and since I'm such an amazing tima manager, Sunday night's are pretty much just as stressful. This week, being midterms, was no exclusion. I had a 5-pg Philosophy paper due Monday as well as a 1pg (in Italian) essay for Italian.
I, naturally, began all of this on Sunday afternoon in tandem with my mother's arrival in Rome. She was resting for the afternoon and I worked at school. I finally heard from her in the evening and I had to leave my paper (happily) to meet with her for dinner with her business associate Tana.
We got pretty well-oiled off some wine, pizza, gnocchi and raviolis and I headed home. I had to sober up and got to talk to my boy in the meantime, which was a plus. I then put myself to task attempting to write the paper. I had an outline so it was just a matter of stringing it together. I worked until about 4:45a then didn't fall asleep until close to 5:30a.
I was up Monday morning at 9:00a writing until I had to leave for school, where I finished and did my Italian paper in a little under 1.5 hours. After all of that I still had 6.5 hours of classes.
Bottom line: not fun.
Monday night we went out for Kate's birthday wherein the girls graciously invited my mother along. I fed her stories to tell to them and we all had an amazing time. Needless to say going home to bed was in order (even though I stayed up to talk to Chad :P).
I slept in pretty late today but had a date with Toni for some smoking, snacks, her bed and a good movie. I happily honored that commitment and came home completely unwound from Sun/Mon to suss out just what I had going on tomorrow.
Its gonna be another long one, but I'm getting used to it. Midterms here are proving just to be an all-around tough time. I can certainly handle it, but the timing is not wonderful as I have my mom in town for barely 5 days and would rather be at the mercy of her schedule than my procrastination.
Blah, I was going to write about the future in this post, but I'll leave that to tomorrow
(whoa, unintentional double entendre! Go me!)
I'm blessed and cursed at the same time with an amazing schedule here in Roma. I have class Monday and Wednesday from 12p - 6:30p and then am off for the remainder of the week. Wednesday night I promote at GILDA then have the following 4 days off.
More times than not, Mon/Wed feel like a marathon, and since I'm such an amazing tima manager, Sunday night's are pretty much just as stressful. This week, being midterms, was no exclusion. I had a 5-pg Philosophy paper due Monday as well as a 1pg (in Italian) essay for Italian.
I, naturally, began all of this on Sunday afternoon in tandem with my mother's arrival in Rome. She was resting for the afternoon and I worked at school. I finally heard from her in the evening and I had to leave my paper (happily) to meet with her for dinner with her business associate Tana.
We got pretty well-oiled off some wine, pizza, gnocchi and raviolis and I headed home. I had to sober up and got to talk to my boy in the meantime, which was a plus. I then put myself to task attempting to write the paper. I had an outline so it was just a matter of stringing it together. I worked until about 4:45a then didn't fall asleep until close to 5:30a.
I was up Monday morning at 9:00a writing until I had to leave for school, where I finished and did my Italian paper in a little under 1.5 hours. After all of that I still had 6.5 hours of classes.
Bottom line: not fun.
Monday night we went out for Kate's birthday wherein the girls graciously invited my mother along. I fed her stories to tell to them and we all had an amazing time. Needless to say going home to bed was in order (even though I stayed up to talk to Chad :P).
I slept in pretty late today but had a date with Toni for some smoking, snacks, her bed and a good movie. I happily honored that commitment and came home completely unwound from Sun/Mon to suss out just what I had going on tomorrow.
Its gonna be another long one, but I'm getting used to it. Midterms here are proving just to be an all-around tough time. I can certainly handle it, but the timing is not wonderful as I have my mom in town for barely 5 days and would rather be at the mercy of her schedule than my procrastination.
Blah, I was going to write about the future in this post, but I'll leave that to tomorrow
(whoa, unintentional double entendre! Go me!)
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Ellen for President
Ok
So here's my deal.
I liked Ellen for a while, loved her comedy special, but then felt she was pretty overexposed as a result of her talk show. The dancing thing got old and I had watched it a few times over last semester when I was babysitting Shane and the show felt sort of forced and contrived, but when she is passionate about an issue she speaks with such conviction that it reminds you of why she is just such an amazing human being.
Please watch/share this clip.
So here's my deal.
I liked Ellen for a while, loved her comedy special, but then felt she was pretty overexposed as a result of her talk show. The dancing thing got old and I had watched it a few times over last semester when I was babysitting Shane and the show felt sort of forced and contrived, but when she is passionate about an issue she speaks with such conviction that it reminds you of why she is just such an amazing human being.
Please watch/share this clip.
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